Reasons to get out of bed…

Posts tagged ‘Second Trimester’

Body Image

I thought I would do sort of a “mind and body” update because one of my favorite bloggers, Caitlyn at Healthy Tipping Point, did that style of post during her pregnancy and I really enjoyed it. So… here’s how I’m feeling lately:

One of my wonderful boyfriend’s co-workers suggested to him that he read The Expectant Father during my pregnancy and to prepare for the birth.

He hasn’t read it yet, but when he does, I’ll give you a review. I just picked it up from the library for him this weekend and while I was making myself a snack, I decided to flip through it. I didn’t read much, but I like what I happened to read.

The book was cautioning that during the 4th and 5th month, hormones are haywire and the father may need to deal with some mood swings. Personally, I don’t think I’ve been suffering from this at all. I checked with T and he agreed that I’ve been very even-keel and basically just my regular, old self. (whew!)

In the next sentence, the book also warned that the mother is probably feeling uncomfortable about her own body and hasn’t felt this way about herself since puberty. Holy cow! I couldn’t agree more! That comment in the book totally crystalized all of my recent insecurities.

It really is bizarre to be in a body that’s constantly changing and growing at an undetermined pace. It’s hard emotionally to not fit in your favorite clothes anymore. I’ve been trying to wear some of my pre-maternity shirts while I still can so that I don’t get sick of the few maternity shirts I own, but there have been a bunch of days where I get to work and suddenly feel like I made a poor choice and spend the entire day tugging at my ill-fitting clothes. I’ve been in maternity pants for a while and they are super great. But I only own three pairs. On other days, I wear my old pants and a “BeBand” that T’s sister was nice enough to give me for Christmas.

The marketing photo

It’s basically a tight piece of fabric to keep one’s unbuttoned pants from falling down. It’s a nice thought, but I still know that my pants are unbuttoned all day and I really hope no one can tell.

It was a rough day when I realized that the loosest pants I own didn’t fit anymore (one reality is that they are really high-waisted so they were the first ones I grew out of). Everything is awkward. Also, it’s not just the belly getting bigger. I’m pretty sure that my butt is getting both wider and closer to my knees. It’s really bumming me out (lame pun totally intended!).

Oh and I don’t own a single bra that’s comfortable anymore. Now, let me point out that my “girls” never got bigger, ever! In fact, they got smaller in the first trimester. (And I’m a “card-carrying member” of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, so I was really looking forward to some cleavage!) But despite the girls being the same size, my expanding body makes me want bras with more width around the body.

On top of feeling pubescent again, everyone around me is excited to comment on my shape. So here I am, trying to hide that the shirt that seemed like a good idea this morning, is too tight and my jeans are unbuttoned and my bra is digging into my ribs; meanwhile everyone around me asking how my belly is doing and if they can see the bump (through clothes of course, most of the askers are my co-workers). I’m really glad that at least no one commented when I was actually going through puberty!

Week 23 out of 40. Sorry for the super terrible lighting, and I'm about to put on pjs and go to bed - hense the sleepy look. I'll try for better pictures as the weeks progress...

Week 23 out of 40. Sorry for the super terrible lighting, and I’m about to put on pjs and go to bed – hence the sleepy look. I’ll try for better pictures as the weeks progress…

Additionally, lots of my coworkers (who recently had kids) like to tell me that I’m “too little” and haven’t gained nearly enough weight. Which makes me feel guilty and worried. (Luckily, at my last doctor’s appointment, they told me that I’m doing great and my weight gain is just what they like to see! And they may have told me that I shouldn’t listen to my coworkers’ unsolicited “advice” especially if it hurts my feelings. My nurse practitioner may be a little sassy and totally awesome.)

And the people who are too afraid to ask to see the bump, try to catch glimpses of it. And I totally understand that they are trying to be polite, but it’s a weird experience for me. No one has ever tried to steal glimpses of my body before (see above comment about tiny boobs). Side note: I was one of these people who wouldn’t ask but would try to secretly look at pregnant women around my office. I just hope I didn’t make anyone feel uncomfortable.

I love weekends because at least I feel “skinny” in my old sweatpants. And that’s a huge reason I was so excited about running again. For 30 minutes, I almost felt like I was still in my own/old body. And I know someone else was there with me too, but for a few minutes I could feel good about myself physically.

I hope this didn’t sound like too much of a complaint. I just thought I would shed a little insight into an insecurity I didn’t see coming.

But really, I AM super excited that I’m not suffering from mood swings! And my wonderful boyfriend is living up to his moniker and being awesome and sweet and trying to make me feel pretty whenever possible. And the worst of my “baby brain” has been trying to put Hersey’s syrup in the freezer after making a chocolate milk (and quickly noticing my mistake). Other than that, I think my mental faculties have remained mostly intact (so far).

Finally Back! (To Excercise, Blogging, and Feeling Human)

If you read my last post with puzzles, you’ll already know my news! Let me start off by giving you the answers to the puzzles and then I’ll talk about why the news basically put me on the injured list that I’ve been whining about for a while.

  1. Expecting (X-Peck-Ting, although I think I totally messed this one up, I forgot to add the T and the “peck” was way too small and hard to see – my fault if you couldn’t get it, sorry! Clearly, I will never be a professional puzzler)
  2. Knocked up
  3. Riding the baby train
  4. For the fans of Grease: it’s a “(A defective keyboard:) missing a period” (based on a line from Rizzo)
  5. A bun in the oven

So if you haven’t gotten it yet: I’m pregnant! Woo! I’m very excited about this because I was told years ago (by a pretty lousy doctor, obviously) that I’m infertile… but I’ll talk about all of that in another post. We were “trying” though, so this isn’t a super scary surprise. Right now, I’m going to talk about why that led to no running (and almost no posting).

If you’re a runner, you’ve probably seen all sorts of pregnant ladies running. Here’s a picture from one of my favorite blogs:  Steve in a Speedo?! Gross!

Check out more pictures like this and Steve's awesome blog by clicking on the picture.

Check out more pictures like this and Steve’s awesome blog by clicking on the picture. (This is a picture of his wife and her running buddy)

However, running is actually what made me decide to take a pregnancy test. (I’ve always been crazy irregular so “being late” is a common occurrence for me… to the point that I don’t know what “on time” really means!) Why would running convince me to take a test? Well, I’ll tell you.

On a Thursday back in September, I was on the treadmill in my office building for a nice lunch-break run (which at the time was really common for me). I was doing a decent pace (not easy, not hard) and by the one mile mark I was in some serious pain. Despite only having an energy packed snack (it was probably a banana), I thought I was going to ralph all over the treadmill (I’ve never before felt as though my small intestine was agreeing with my stomach that upchucking would be a wise idea). By 1.8 miles, I had to slow to a walk because I was in enough pain/worried about being sick on a treadmill. 1.8 miles was a little disheartening when I would normally run a 5k on my lunch break. I walked for another mile and went back to work, and felt fine the rest of the day.

That Saturday was the Diva Dash! I felt mostly great for the obstacle-packed run (which was a ton of fun) but during the longest stretch of uninterrupted running, I had that awkward sick feeling again. I went home and took a pregnancy test but totally did it wrong so it didn’t give a response per se, and I just assumed it was negative because I thought I was infertile.

A week later, I decided to take another test, this time with my wonderful boyfriend there. We held hands and read the results together: two lines (positive)! It was odd when I mentioned to my doctor that she was the first person I told. I think everyone thought my wonderful boyfriend (of over 10 years, in case you’re new to the blog) should have been the first person… but I didn’t have to tell him.

Right, so why haven’t I run (or really blogged) since then? Because my first trimester was brutal! I was really sick (there was a period when I threw up about 4 times a week) and was constantly nauseated. I also had a ton of food aversions (no real cravings yet): simply the thought of bread or dairy made me want to yak. One day, I had to drive home on the highway next to a Hood Milk truck (with pictures on the side). I literally used my hand to block the truck from my vision and audibly repeated anything I could think of that felt like the opposite of milk to keep me from throwing up on the highway. Most of the chant was “pickles, vinegar, pickles, pickles, pickles, vinegar (::gag::).” Fun fun! I’m already a vegetarian… so my diet was crazy limited. If I could have lived off of salad with Italian dressing, pickles, oranges, and tomatoes, I would have! Thank goodness for my wonderful boyfriend adding in some real nutrition. I lost a total of 8 pounds during the first trimester (approx 6% of my total weight – don’t worry, I promise I have gained all of it back, plus some).

I was also inconceivably tired. If you’re a regular reader, you know that I had a full-time job, got my Master’s degree, and was a regular runner at the same time! I managed all of that without being a total zombie. But this challenge? Nope! There was a solid two weeks (and picture a bell curve, that was the apex, but the surrounding time wasn’t awesome) where I would come home from work and be too tired to get off the couch. Literally, getting an apple from the kitchen took too much effort. I don’t know how military wives with deployed husbands/single women/mistresses do it! If it weren’t for my super wonderful boyfriend, I wouldn’t have eaten at all during that time!

So clearly, running was out of the picture!

But I’m back! I went to the gym at lunch on Friday and hit up the Arc Trainer! It was only 20 minutes and only on level 2… but I’ll take it! At least I made it there! My doctor told me that because I took the break from running, I shouldn’t run for more than 5-10 minutes without a walking break… and I’m pretty sure my body would whole-heartedly agree with her. I’m going to try the treadmill this week. I hope it goes well.  (And I hope the baby bump doesn’t jiggle too much… that will be weird!)

Oh, and happy new year!

Tag Cloud