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Posts tagged ‘pregnant ladies’

Nice (and not so nice) Things to Say to Preggos

I am an absolute master of saying the wrong thing in any situation! In case you’re like me, I thought I would share with you my favorite compliments as well as things you might want to avoid saying to a pregnant lady.

Things I loved to hear:

“You don’t even look pregnant from the back!”

“You’re all baby!” (in the context that said pregnant lady doesn’t look like she’s gained weight anywhere besides the belly)

Anything that made me feel pretty!

Thing I know some women love to hear but I wasn’t super keen on:

“You’re glowing!” (I know it’s meant as a compliment, but my crazy self always heard that as “Wow… you’re sweaty!” And I know no one means it that way, but I was always sweating uncontrollably when they said it to me.)

Things I would suggest avoiding:

Anything along the lines of “you’re so/really/too small!” or “you’re so/really/too large!” (I’ve found as a pregnant lady, that I’m already a little insecure about the way my body looks – especially in the beginning when I didn’t look super pregnant but more like I ate too many muffins that day – so calling it out in that way made me awkward like a teenager. Also, when you decide I’m too big or too small it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. No woman wants to feel like she’s doing wrong by her baby. Instead, go with one of the above, or just tell her she looks lovely.)

“Wow, you still haven’t had that baby yet!?” (No I haven’t, and what’s wrong with that!? Instead, ask again when she’s due – in a nice, supportive way, not a judgemental way – or ask how she’s feeling.)

“Are you ready?” (I personally didn’t know what this one meant but EVERYONE asked it! I wasn’t sure if they meant “have you set everything up for this baby?” or “I bet you can’t wait to get that thing out of your body!” It usually sounded like the latter, which was then awkward because I’m not one of those women in a lot of pain and wanting the escape. Also… I’m not one of those women who has anything set up… the nursery is still filled with unpacked boxes from our move. Again, with this one, I would recommend asking how she’s feeling or if you want to know about a nursery, ask about it.)

Random thoughts:

I noticed a specific trend on Facebook that I thought I would share. Whenever I post something on Facebook about being pregnant, I get two types of responses.

First for reference, this is the type of stuff I post on Facebook (and the frequency):

Facebook Status

Now, the types of responses:

From people my own age, I get things like:

  • “But you look great!” (from someone who saw me the day before)
  • “Your baby is holding out for Arrested Development!”
  • “That little bun just wants to fully bake!”
  • “Where are pictures? We want to see how cute you look!”
  • “My birthday is 3 days away, hold on for then, it’s a great birthday!”

I liked all of these!

From people in my parents’ generation, I get one of three things:

  • I either get them trying to educate me on very basic things (“Due dates are only guesses, not guarantees!” No kidding…)
  • Trying to give me tips on how to induce (which leads them all to fight with each other on my status about whether or not Mexican food works… considering I’ve had Mexican twice this week because I love it, I don’t think it works, but whatever. Also, I’m in no rush to induce myself yet. So they are offering advice I don’t need yet. When I have a Facebook post asking for induction ideas, I will welcome these comments.)
  • Telling me all about their pregnancy like mine will somehow replicate it. If they want to share stories, that’s totally fine by me. I actually like hearing birth stories. I’m just not a huge fan of how theirs are coming across as “so you’ll be like this, too.” I feel like birth stories should be prefaced as “this is how it happened for me” not “this is how it happens for everyone.” Because really, everyone’s seem to be different! I don’t think I’m explaining it well, but I’ve gotten a lot of “I was late!” “I was late and miserable! I bet you are too!” “I cried every day I was late. And then my baby was huge and labor was terrible!” “You look like me.” (Umm…how so? We’re not related.)

I think there is this stereotype going around that pregnancy is miserable, so it’s ok to tell a woman how miserable she must be. I would instead recommending asking.

And really, the best thing you can say to a pregnant lady is an honest compliment.

Good luck!

Any other suggestions on nice things to say to pregnant ladies from anyone who is/has been pregnant? Do you think I got any of these wrong/you felt differently?

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Prenatal Yoga

This past Tuesday, I decided to give prenatal yoga a shot. My doctor thought it would be a good idea and I feel like a ton of people have recommended it… so why not try it?

I’ve never been into yoga before though. The few times I’ve gone have been disastrous. Have you ever taken a yoga class and there is a girl in the back falling down? And occasionally when she falls down she takes out the person next to her? That’s me! Always! It’s embarrassing.

Yoga cat fail

But everyone thinks that pregnant ladies should do yoga and my doctor mentioned that a retail store near me, Destination Maternity, offers a free class. 

I dragged one of my coworkers along because she often goes to yoga and because if I was going to accidentally topple someone to the floor, I didn’t want that person to be 9 months pregnant! Megan’s not pregnant, so I thought it might be safe. Turns out that while Destination Maternity is awesome enough to offer the class for free (always), they only want pregnant ladies in the room. Oops! Luckily the instructor was pretty nice about it and let Megan stay.

I’m proud to say that I didn’t fall over! Not even once! Yay! I really enjoyed myself and I’m totally planning to go back. I would go for tomorrow morning’s class if I didn’t have to go to a conference this weekend.

yoga cat

I will admit that while I was proud of myself for doing something that counts as exercise, I didn’t get that same elation that I did from running. And let me just say that I don’t think I’ve ever gotten that “runner’s high” that everyone talks about, but I ‘ve always felt so proud of myself after a run. I shouldn’t be too hard on yoga though because even if I didn’t break a sweat, my muscles were aching the next day. Specifically the muscles on the outsides of my hips. My belly muscles (I can’t even call them abs right now, that seems like a joke… even if it’s their name) were really sore the next day as well, but I don’t know if that was from yoga or just generally from being pregnant.

This is going to sound stupid, but I’m going to share it in case there are readers who didn’t know this either. The whole “belly expanding” thing hurts (not a ton, but it’s uncomfortable). About 2 days out of every week, it feels like I’ve pulled or strained a muscle. And the muscle of choice changes every week. So far, it has moved up a few inches every week as the belly expansion moves higher. The strained/pulled muscle thing makes total sense, it’s just not something I ever expected/thought about before getting pregnant.

Besides enjoying the yoga, it was nice to be around other pregnant ladies. Excluding Megan, there were 5 pregnant ladies in the class (counting me). We broke down like this:

  • I’m 20 weeks pregnant (5 months)  – this is my first child
  • Woman #2 – 34 weeks (out of 40) – I didn’t hear what number child she’s on
  • Woman #3 – 26 weeks pregnant – 2nd child
  • Woman #4 – 12 weeks pregnant – 2nd child
  • Woman #5 – 6 weeks pregnant – second child

I had the smallest belly. I know that women “pop” faster with their second child, but it still made me nervous that I’m doing something wrong… luckily I saw my doctor today and she says I’m right on track for weight gain and shouldn’t worry about anything.

I also think it’s super awesome that Destination Maternity offers this free yoga class. They also offer free classes on Newborn Care, Lactation, and  New Moms group support thing… If you have a Destination Maternity near you and you’re pregnant, you should totally check them out!

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