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Posts tagged ‘Pregnancy’

Nine Months Up, Nine Months Down

The baby is officially 9 months old!

Baby Smiles

When I was pregnant, I read a book called The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy

and I really liked it. I would totally recommend it. It has a fun sense of humor and makes you feel less alone if you don’t have a lot of mommy/pregnant friends (I don’t). It’s written by an L.A. resident, so maybe it has a few concerns that I didn’t have/feel while living in occasionally arctic New England and never feeling much societal pressure about my makeup and hair, but I still really enjoyed it.

One of its tips that I loved and want to share (but can’t remember the direct quote… although it was said a few times) is basically: it took you 9 months to gain the weight, don’t beat yourself up (or be surprised) if it takes you 9 months to lose it.

It really made me feel ok with my body for the last 9 months, especially the early months after her birth. I had been warned that I would still look 6 months pregnant when I left the hospital (and I did!), but I didn’t expect to look 4 months pregnant when she was 3 months old. But I rolled with it with the thought “9 months up, 9 months down.”

And you know what? I think it was totally right for me. The baby is 9 months old and I fit in almost all of my pre-pregnancy pants now, there are two hold-outs but whatever. My body doesn’t look exactly the way it did before, but it feels to be roughly the same size. I feel like I’m back to living in my old body, more or less. And when I see myself in the mirror, I’m no longer surprised by the reflection. The image of myself that I hold and the image in the mirror finally align again!

And the bonus of this mantra is that I didn’t beat myself up for no good reason while I was enjoying this tiny human being that my body incubated!

100_0220.edit

Also, yay for fitting back into my old clothes!

Weight Loss/Weight Gain

I’m back to running and it feels so good! As an added bonus, my wonderful man, T, has been joining me and we’ve been pushing the baby in her stroller. She had to be 4 months old before she had the neck strength for it. We may have jumped the gun a week early, but she has a very strong little neck and the running path was recently paved…so I’m not that worried.

We were training for a 5k this past weekend. It’s actually the first 5k I ever ran and I’m excited for that symmetry!

While there’s a bonus of weight loss, I’m simply running because I want the baby to have a fit mommy. I actually have no idea how much I weight right now.

Before I gave birth, I had been writing a series of “I’m not that woman” posts and I had thought about one for being obsessed with weight. I hope not to be that woman to say “Well… I still have 10 pounds of baby weight to lose.” Especially when someone’s “baby” is a 3rd grader… Girl, that weight it YOURS, own it! So I’m really not all that concerned about weight loss – I gained 38 pounds while pregnant, and when I went in for my 6 week check-up I still had 14 pounds to lose.

Let's go for a jog!

Let’s go for a jog!

One of the best bits of advice I read was “It took you 9 months to gain the weight, don’t be surprised if it takes you 9 months to lose it!” I’m 4 months in, I’m expecting it to take a few more months to lose.

I’ve only had a few struggles with that. The first was when I went back to work. The night before I went back to work was the first time I tried on my (pre pregnancy) work pants. I chose the tightest pair, the loosest pair, and 2 pairs in the middle. I tried on the tightest pants and I couldn’t get them over my thighs. Off they went. I tried on the loosest pants and couldn’t get THEM over my thighs. Tears welled up in my eyes. I started to put on a 3rd pair when T stopped me. It wasn’t worth making myself cry over. I should just wear my maternity pants and be comfortable.

So… I’m still wearing my maternity pants. Apparently my thighs still think we’re carrying a baby. It’s been a month and a half and I should probably try my old pants on again… but I’m not really in the mood to feel bad again, you know what I mean?

And then I saw this poll on BabyCenter.com:

baby center poll

And honestly, it made me feel a little lousy about myself. But then I started to read the comments about how so many of these women didn’t need maternity clothes. They reminded me of a ‘friend’ who came to my baby shower and told me all about her niece who only gained 4 pounds during her recent pregnancy (can you hear me rolling my eyes?!) . Really, if someone only gains 4 pounds for an 8 pound baby, they have LOST weight.

And all of this reinforced to me that people have different body types. My boss, a team-mate, and I all had babies this year (well… the teammate is still pregnant, but not for much longer). Out of the 3 of us, we all have different body types, basically with clothing sizes: my boss is a medium, I’m a small, and my teammate is an extra small. The medium gained the least weight and the extra small gained the most. My boss thinks she gained the least because she already had some fat stores built up for the baby.

So why should I worry about other women fitting into their old clothes? I don’t know what size their old clothes are or how loose or fitted they chose to dress! They are not me, so why I should I worry?

So I’m maintaining my level head (while wearing my comfy maternity pants). And I’m going to run because I love running, not because I need to shrink my thighs.

Ironically, while I’m thinking about my own weight loss, I’ve also had to worry about the baby’s weight gain (she wasn’t gaining enough fast enough), and I’ll tell you all about that interesting adventure tomorrow.

My tracking bib

I was so pumped to get another one of these!

Just a quick hello

Hey!

It’s been crazy around here. First, let me say that I absolutely love Baby Girl. Wholly and completely.

I’m also super exhausted! She’s 7 weeks old today and the first 5 weeks were a super struggle! She hasn’t quite learned that she’s a separate person. For the first 5 weeks, she would scream and cry if I so much as put her down for a minute. Every trip to the bathroom had a soundtrack of screaming… (unless T was home or someone was visiting who could hold her – she’s not just a mama’s girl, she’ll enjoy being held by anyone and everyone… but she won’t enjoy being put down. If I even put her down while she was asleep, she’d wake up and pitch a fit.) And not only did she prefer to be snuggled, she prefered to have a nice movement involved. I’ve spent lots of time swaying, bouncing, dancing, and pacing around my house.

Things are improving though! She’s taking a nap by herself right now! It’s the second one today. The first only last 30 minutes, but I’ll take it.

So while it’s been interesting giving all of my time and energy to someone else, I really shouldn’t complain too much. She’s usually a good night sleeper. Most nights, she’ll sleep from 11-6 (with a few meal breaks in the middle) and I will take it! I’m super grateful for that!

Life is good right now and getting better. I have a feeling you’ll be hearing more from me soon.

🙂

One month old

It’s a girl!

She was born on June 3rd at 8:53 pm, weighing 7 lbs 14 oz and measuring 20.5 inches!

I had been planning to update before I went to the hospital – it was on my “pre-hospital to do list!” But I didn’t really realize I was in labor until way too late! Nothing on the list got done except making sure the cats had water and food… and T did those things! I promise to share my labor story when I’m typing with both hands though.

I’m not sure how I feel about sharing her name though… it’s one of those weird privacy things (and I watch too much Criminal Minds…so of course I worry about weird ways to kidnap…). I’m debating, should I:

  • use her initial, like I do with T
  • use a different nickname from what we actually call her (her name has about 6 plausible nicknames)
  • just call her “baby girl?”

But all is well and I’m madly in love with her, no matter what I might have said before.

In the hospital

In the hospital

And my personal favorite

And my personal favorite

Nice (and not so nice) Things to Say to Preggos

I am an absolute master of saying the wrong thing in any situation! In case you’re like me, I thought I would share with you my favorite compliments as well as things you might want to avoid saying to a pregnant lady.

Things I loved to hear:

“You don’t even look pregnant from the back!”

“You’re all baby!” (in the context that said pregnant lady doesn’t look like she’s gained weight anywhere besides the belly)

Anything that made me feel pretty!

Thing I know some women love to hear but I wasn’t super keen on:

“You’re glowing!” (I know it’s meant as a compliment, but my crazy self always heard that as “Wow… you’re sweaty!” And I know no one means it that way, but I was always sweating uncontrollably when they said it to me.)

Things I would suggest avoiding:

Anything along the lines of “you’re so/really/too small!” or “you’re so/really/too large!” (I’ve found as a pregnant lady, that I’m already a little insecure about the way my body looks – especially in the beginning when I didn’t look super pregnant but more like I ate too many muffins that day – so calling it out in that way made me awkward like a teenager. Also, when you decide I’m too big or too small it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. No woman wants to feel like she’s doing wrong by her baby. Instead, go with one of the above, or just tell her she looks lovely.)

“Wow, you still haven’t had that baby yet!?” (No I haven’t, and what’s wrong with that!? Instead, ask again when she’s due – in a nice, supportive way, not a judgemental way – or ask how she’s feeling.)

“Are you ready?” (I personally didn’t know what this one meant but EVERYONE asked it! I wasn’t sure if they meant “have you set everything up for this baby?” or “I bet you can’t wait to get that thing out of your body!” It usually sounded like the latter, which was then awkward because I’m not one of those women in a lot of pain and wanting the escape. Also… I’m not one of those women who has anything set up… the nursery is still filled with unpacked boxes from our move. Again, with this one, I would recommend asking how she’s feeling or if you want to know about a nursery, ask about it.)

Random thoughts:

I noticed a specific trend on Facebook that I thought I would share. Whenever I post something on Facebook about being pregnant, I get two types of responses.

First for reference, this is the type of stuff I post on Facebook (and the frequency):

Facebook Status

Now, the types of responses:

From people my own age, I get things like:

  • “But you look great!” (from someone who saw me the day before)
  • “Your baby is holding out for Arrested Development!”
  • “That little bun just wants to fully bake!”
  • “Where are pictures? We want to see how cute you look!”
  • “My birthday is 3 days away, hold on for then, it’s a great birthday!”

I liked all of these!

From people in my parents’ generation, I get one of three things:

  • I either get them trying to educate me on very basic things (“Due dates are only guesses, not guarantees!” No kidding…)
  • Trying to give me tips on how to induce (which leads them all to fight with each other on my status about whether or not Mexican food works… considering I’ve had Mexican twice this week because I love it, I don’t think it works, but whatever. Also, I’m in no rush to induce myself yet. So they are offering advice I don’t need yet. When I have a Facebook post asking for induction ideas, I will welcome these comments.)
  • Telling me all about their pregnancy like mine will somehow replicate it. If they want to share stories, that’s totally fine by me. I actually like hearing birth stories. I’m just not a huge fan of how theirs are coming across as “so you’ll be like this, too.” I feel like birth stories should be prefaced as “this is how it happened for me” not “this is how it happens for everyone.” Because really, everyone’s seem to be different! I don’t think I’m explaining it well, but I’ve gotten a lot of “I was late!” “I was late and miserable! I bet you are too!” “I cried every day I was late. And then my baby was huge and labor was terrible!” “You look like me.” (Umm…how so? We’re not related.)

I think there is this stereotype going around that pregnancy is miserable, so it’s ok to tell a woman how miserable she must be. I would instead recommending asking.

And really, the best thing you can say to a pregnant lady is an honest compliment.

Good luck!

Any other suggestions on nice things to say to pregnant ladies from anyone who is/has been pregnant? Do you think I got any of these wrong/you felt differently?

Body Images – Part 5

Ok… it’s totally been a month since I last posted anything. Sorry about that. I’ve written a bunch of drafts, but then my inability to focus takes over and they remain half-finished.

It’s also been 2 months since I last posted a real update on my pregnancy. So here goes!

My due date was May 26th (Sunday) and today is the 29th. I’m 3 days “overdue” and I’m 100% ok with that! I had an appointment with my doctor yesterday and she doesn’t think this baby will be coming anytime soon. I’m also ok with that, for a few reasons:

  1. I’ve been told that fatter babies are happier babies. Because they have more body fat to live off, they can sleep a little longer and their feedings are a little more spread apart. I hear that as more sleep and I love that idea!
  2. I’m pretty sure babies are easier to care for on the inside than the outside, so I don’t mind a few extra days.
  3. What’s the rush? I plan to know this kid for the rest of my life, what’s another few days of waiting? Plus, I know where it is! It’s not like I need to be nervous because he/she is missing. I get kicked, I know he/she is in there and doing fine.
  4. I’m not super uncomfortable!
  5. There is a “community festival” within walking distance from my house this Saturday and there will be fried dough! I can wait a few days for a baby if there is a promise of fried dough! 🙂

Comfort level: Yes, I’m normal pregnant uncomfortable, but I’m not SUPER uncomfortable. I haven’t been plagued with sciatica. I sleep ok for the most part (better than I would if I had a baby who needs to eat every 2 hours, that’s for sure). And I don’t have toxemia/pre-eclampsia so I really have nothing to complain about. I can “take one for the team” and wait another week or so, it’s ok.

For weeks I was really “suffering” (comparatively) from swollen feet. It was painful to put them on the floor in the morning. Socks were too tight (even men’s socks), and I only had two pairs of shoes that fit my Stay-Puffed Marshmallow feet. But then T’s sister showed him a technique to help get rid of the water retention in the feet. Now, T gives me a very specific foot massage every night and life is good again. I have ankle bones again! My feet don’t hurt when I get out of bed! It’s awesome! Plus, I’m working from home full-time now and keeping my feet elevated, so that’s helping as well. I’m probably a little more comfortable now than I was 3 weeks ago.

Still crazy: I still have an innie belly button! Love it! It’s really sensitive to the touch though. I’ve always hated it touched… so this isn’t really new, it just seems like more people want to touch it (and by more people, I mean that T finds it funny to touch because it’s so shallow and the sonographer LOVES to use it as a target for where to put the ultrasound sensor…)

Food: I’ve never had a real pregnancy craving. Yes, I took the food suggestions from baby websites, but I never had a moment where I HAD to eat anything. Also, much to many people’s disappointment, I never craved meat during my pregnancy (I’ve been a vegetarian for over 20 years…)

Dreams: Lots of people also ask if I’ve had dreams about the baby, foretelling gender, etc. I have not. I don’t remember any dreams where I really see the baby in any real way. I would say that we’re still sort of strangers at this point (although I’m pretty sure the baby loves Mexican food… that always generates a dance party).

Gender: I certainly have no guess at the gender. Lots of people think we know the gender but we really don’t. We often call the baby “he” but that’s only because we’ve gotten a little sick of saying “he or she” so we’re lazy and stop after the first part.

“Eviction:” Lots of people, who aren’t my doctor, like to tell me to get induced. As of yesterday, my doctor says that she wouldn’t recommend inducing right now, my body is so not ready to have a baby that she doesn’t think it would work. She thinks I’d end up with a c-section and she’s glad I’m happy to wait. Plus, T and I think if we wait too far into June, we’d prefer to try all of the hippy methods of induction first: going for walks, acupressure, acupuncture, chiropractic, some super spicy Indian food, etc.

So yep, that’s about it! No baby but no angst either.

Pictures:

Week 33

Week 35 Week 36

Taken on the baby's estimated delivery date! I'm all red and puffy because T likes to play sappy love songs that make me cry!

Taken on the baby’s estimated delivery date! I’m all red and puffy because T likes to play sappy love songs that make me cry!

And for a fun comparison:

Wow... apparently I had a favorite shirt for taking these pictures!

Wow… apparently I had a favorite shirt for taking these pictures!

 

Baby Size or Diet Suggestion?

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was super excited to check out those baby size calculators online… Until I realized how BORING they are in the beginning!

Your baby is the size of:

  • a grain of rice
  • a peppercorn
  • a caper

Woo! Excitement!

So I stopped checking. Around Christmas, my absolutely adorable sister-in-law asked if I knew the size. And I didn’t and I felt a little bad for not knowing any of that type of stuff (I may have been a little detached in the beginning… or I was too busy planning puzzles to think about size)… so I started checking again. That first week I looked into it again, Booger was the size of a green pepper. Mmm… green pepper… The next week, Booger was the size of a mango… yummy… mango!

Seriously, all I wanted was a green pepper and a mango to eat! Which I vaguely feared made me a bad person (does it count as cannibalism?)… but mango is delicious! And then I started to notice a trend. These websites that talk about baby size never use any object besides food. Booger was never the size of a stapler, a golf ball, or a softball. However, Booger was the size of 3 limes one week and 4 oranges another. How am I supposed to configure them?! Oranges

Additionally, the food suggestions are always healthy! I was never carrying around a Twinkie, a cupcake, or a pie…

I’m on to you, baby websites! Clearly you are just trying to influence my eating!

(Um… it totally worked… but that’s besides the point!)

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