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Posts tagged ‘Advice’

Paddy’s Road Race 2013 – Race Recap

I am BEHIND! This 5k was almost 3 months ago! It was my first postpartum race and bonus: T and the baby were with me as well! This course was my first ever race, 2 years ago, and I was excited for the symmetry. So how was the race?

Well… it was good, a little rough, and I learned a VERY valuable lesson.

First the good – it felt awesome to be out running again with other runners! So, so good!

T; my friend, Ellen; and I wait with the baby at the back of the line. It was essentially a stroller parking lot!

T; my friend, Ellen; and I wait with the baby at the back of the line. It was essentially a stroller parking lot! I had dressed the baby in her Halloween costume because this race was at the end of October, but it was too warm for her to wear all of it.

There were a ton of spectators at this race, and a bunch of them were little kids giving out high fives! I love when kids are at a race to support people. I hope Baby Girl is one someday. And for this race, I was thrilled to high-five at least 8 kids – and one kid’s mom high-fived me because of the stroller! It was nice motivation towards the end.

I  received the same compliment repeatedly and I loved it – it was about how we were running with a baby small enough to still be in the car seat attachment – and how that was impressive. I didn’t know this before I was pregnant but a baby has to be 4 months old before you can run with him/her because of neck strength. The baby, at barely over 4 months old, had only been approved for about 3 days by her doctor for running. Clearly, I was excited to run with her as soon as possible! (T would want me to mention that he ran with the stroller for the first half and I did the second half – it wasn’t all me, despite what the pictures make it look like.)

If you’re ever at a race and see a woman pushing a baby in the car seat attachment for the stroller, give her a nice big “Wow! Go you!” If she’s anything like me, I can promise you it will make her feel like superwoman! (especially if she’s running as slowly as I was! We ended with a 13 minute average pace, whoa slow!)

I'm running with the car seat insert, the woman behind me isn't (in case you needed a visual)

I’m running with the car seat insert, the woman behind me isn’t (in case you needed a visual)

It was a little rough because T and I hadn’t trained enough. (T even trained less than I did – I at least have a gym/locker room in my office building so I could run at lunch, T was on his own). We ran the first mile, walked for 1/2 a mile, and then ran the remaining 1.6 miles. Of course the only spectator/supporter we had there (the husband of a friend, Ellen, running the race) saw us while we were walking! 😦

The lesson I learned was this: change the baby’s diaper IMMEDIATELY before the race starts! We fed the baby before the race, but we didn’t think to change her. We drove 45 minutes, waited at the starting line for another 30, and didn’t think to change her before it started! (Clearly, we’re bad parents…) To make matters worse, she was wearing a cloth diaper (we use both cloth and disposable) – and cloth diapers don’t wick away the moisture so if it’s wet – she’s uncomfortable and unhappy and she’s letting you know it! The poor kid screamed the ENTIRE run! We originally thought she would take a nap on the run, but no, she was way too miserable!

As soon as we crossed the finish line, we found a quiet place to change her diaper and she was happy as clam. Lesson learned!

There was actually a second (lesser) lesson that I learned on this run. If you’re a man, and you want your picture taken, run in a kilt!!! T proudly wore his sportkilt (it’s cotton instead of wool and is machine washable). Out of the professional pictures: there are 15 of me, 16 of Ellen, and over 50 of T! The photographers LOVED him!

Here’s my favorite photo of him, doing a heel click, about to cross the finish line:

About to cross the finish line!

About to cross the finish line!

It also makes me think of Jill over at FlyingJumpKicks.

As another random thought, I’m sure the camera man is glad T didn’t go “traditional” with the kilt… the coming down pictures are a sight to see! Thank goodness he chose to wear black shorts! I’d share one of them with you, but I don’t think T would enjoy me posting “up skirt” photos of him, even if he is wearing shorts…

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Nice (and not so nice) Things to Say to Preggos

I am an absolute master of saying the wrong thing in any situation! In case you’re like me, I thought I would share with you my favorite compliments as well as things you might want to avoid saying to a pregnant lady.

Things I loved to hear:

“You don’t even look pregnant from the back!”

“You’re all baby!” (in the context that said pregnant lady doesn’t look like she’s gained weight anywhere besides the belly)

Anything that made me feel pretty!

Thing I know some women love to hear but I wasn’t super keen on:

“You’re glowing!” (I know it’s meant as a compliment, but my crazy self always heard that as “Wow… you’re sweaty!” And I know no one means it that way, but I was always sweating uncontrollably when they said it to me.)

Things I would suggest avoiding:

Anything along the lines of “you’re so/really/too small!” or “you’re so/really/too large!” (I’ve found as a pregnant lady, that I’m already a little insecure about the way my body looks – especially in the beginning when I didn’t look super pregnant but more like I ate too many muffins that day – so calling it out in that way made me awkward like a teenager. Also, when you decide I’m too big or too small it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. No woman wants to feel like she’s doing wrong by her baby. Instead, go with one of the above, or just tell her she looks lovely.)

“Wow, you still haven’t had that baby yet!?” (No I haven’t, and what’s wrong with that!? Instead, ask again when she’s due – in a nice, supportive way, not a judgemental way – or ask how she’s feeling.)

“Are you ready?” (I personally didn’t know what this one meant but EVERYONE asked it! I wasn’t sure if they meant “have you set everything up for this baby?” or “I bet you can’t wait to get that thing out of your body!” It usually sounded like the latter, which was then awkward because I’m not one of those women in a lot of pain and wanting the escape. Also… I’m not one of those women who has anything set up… the nursery is still filled with unpacked boxes from our move. Again, with this one, I would recommend asking how she’s feeling or if you want to know about a nursery, ask about it.)

Random thoughts:

I noticed a specific trend on Facebook that I thought I would share. Whenever I post something on Facebook about being pregnant, I get two types of responses.

First for reference, this is the type of stuff I post on Facebook (and the frequency):

Facebook Status

Now, the types of responses:

From people my own age, I get things like:

  • “But you look great!” (from someone who saw me the day before)
  • “Your baby is holding out for Arrested Development!”
  • “That little bun just wants to fully bake!”
  • “Where are pictures? We want to see how cute you look!”
  • “My birthday is 3 days away, hold on for then, it’s a great birthday!”

I liked all of these!

From people in my parents’ generation, I get one of three things:

  • I either get them trying to educate me on very basic things (“Due dates are only guesses, not guarantees!” No kidding…)
  • Trying to give me tips on how to induce (which leads them all to fight with each other on my status about whether or not Mexican food works… considering I’ve had Mexican twice this week because I love it, I don’t think it works, but whatever. Also, I’m in no rush to induce myself yet. So they are offering advice I don’t need yet. When I have a Facebook post asking for induction ideas, I will welcome these comments.)
  • Telling me all about their pregnancy like mine will somehow replicate it. If they want to share stories, that’s totally fine by me. I actually like hearing birth stories. I’m just not a huge fan of how theirs are coming across as “so you’ll be like this, too.” I feel like birth stories should be prefaced as “this is how it happened for me” not “this is how it happens for everyone.” Because really, everyone’s seem to be different! I don’t think I’m explaining it well, but I’ve gotten a lot of “I was late!” “I was late and miserable! I bet you are too!” “I cried every day I was late. And then my baby was huge and labor was terrible!” “You look like me.” (Umm…how so? We’re not related.)

I think there is this stereotype going around that pregnancy is miserable, so it’s ok to tell a woman how miserable she must be. I would instead recommending asking.

And really, the best thing you can say to a pregnant lady is an honest compliment.

Good luck!

Any other suggestions on nice things to say to pregnant ladies from anyone who is/has been pregnant? Do you think I got any of these wrong/you felt differently?

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