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The Pain Wasn’t Bad, Why Did I Fear it?

Oops, I forgot to hit publish on this on Jan 16th!

As I mentioned in my last post, I finally went back to the gym this week after missing/avoiding it since May.

I need to actually get a membership – so really I’ve only been once. But it was better than I expected. Sometimes, I think that going back to a gym and a workout regime can be intimidating for 2 reasons: realizing you’re not as in shape as you were and really FEELING that delta but also feeling all of the sore muscles!

I’m so happy to report that my muscles haven’t been sore! I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to move the next day, but I’ve had no issues! Yay!

When it comes to not being who I was… well… I’m still dealing with that. Going back to the gym and not knowing how far I can run is sad when I know I could run 10 miles for fun before. Luckily, for me, the first time back, I didn’t hit the treadmill (which I would have done if I were on my own). Instead, I followed my coworker to my second favorite cardio machine: the arc trainer. I wasn’t at the same level I was before. I used to use the “interval” option on level 6, this time around I was back to level 2 (Clearly, neither of these are a brag, just being honest). It was a bummer and my leg muscles were still on fire. But I really think starting with the arc trainer made me feel more “ok” with not being at my past fitness level than starting with my favorite: running.

So if you’re like me and thinking about going back to working out, I wish you luck and for no fear! It wasn’t as bad in reality as it was in my head. ūüôā

Back in the Saddle Again!

I haven’t had much to blog about lately. Mainly because when I first started to write this blog, I wanted it to be about all the silly little tricks I use and what I tell myself to motivate myself to stay busy. But I haven’t had anything to say because I wasn’t very motivated. I’ve been floating through life lately, I haven’t been propelling myself, but I think that needs to change.

Also, I wasn’t ever going to be a good “mommy blogger!”

So what has motivated this sudden change back to blogging? I had time off from Dec 24th – Jan 5th and I decided that I needed to clean out my clothes closet and dresser drawers. I like to do organizational projects when I have significant down time. I’ve lived in three apartments/homes in the last 8 years and every time I move, my storage space gets smaller. I haven’t purged clothes in a LOOOONG time (let’s just say that I still had about 40% of the clothes I wore in high school).

1) I was motivated for the need for space! The clothes I wear all the time had nowhere to live.

As I was going through my clothes, purging them, I realized how few of them fit. In all fairness, some of them were originally tight, belly shirts or pleather shorts from high school – but other things should have fit and didn’t. (In the end, I donated about 80 pieces of clothes – I stopped counting at 63. I also threw away a bunch of old clothes – like over-worn bathing suits, again from high school – but I didn’t count those.)

My drawers and closet have so much more space! Now, I just wish I felt that way in my clothes.

2) I want to fit in my clothes again!

Trying on so many pieces of my own clothes really made me aware of how much I have gained since buying most of them.

I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday and I learned something sad. I gained 38 pounds when I was pregnant. I lost 32 of those pounds by her first birthday. Since June, I’ve gained 5 pounds!!!! That’s right, I lost most of the “baby weight” and then gained 5 pounds for no good reason! Ugh! Where are my running shoes?

I went to Planet Fitness yesterday as a guest of my coworker who is a member there. I liked it well enough, so I’m going to sign up this weekend.

And here is my plan: I need to go to the gym a few times a week during lunch (I’m directing a high school play so my wonderful man, T, is already on full-time parent duty 2-3 nights a week. I feel bad making him do every night so I can go to the gym. Especially because he’s just signed up for Daily Burn so that he can work out and be at home at the same time. I’m excited for him but I want a treadmill. Also, I would miss Baby Girl’s face too much if I was out 4-5 nights a week (plus working full-time).

Playing with hats at Target around Halloween

Playing with hats at Target around Halloween

Next, I need more lettuce in my life. I used to eat salads with almost every dinner as a kid. I almost never eat salad now! So that’s going to change!

And maybe less ice cream…

*Having just reread this, I realize I sound like I’m freaking out over 5 lbs, but I was a little heavier than desired before I got pregnant so this is actually about 20-25 lbs. I’m really just bumming because my weight is moving in the wrong direction. And I miss running!!!! I miss my lovely running trail that I moved away from and I’ve yet to find another good one. I think that might be some spring motivation.

Radio Silence

Hi!

It’s been so long, friends! I added the Diaper Derby – Recap post and then fell off the blogging planet. I had written that post, written a few posts that I needed to add photos from T’s phone before posting so I saved as drafts, and then I felt crushed by sadness at work and stopped posting. I kept thinking of things to share, but never had the time.

Here’s what happened in a 3 week block of time at work: (not looking for sympathy, just explaining):

  • 2 people I like were fired
  • the president of the company died (he was old and I didn’t know him well, but it was still sad and also made us all feel like our jobs were precarious)
  • the awesome woman I sit next to was diagnosed with cancer
  • my boss (whom I love) resigned
  • the day after she told me she had resigned, her brother (a police officer) died. The whole situation was very sad and my boss didn’t come back to work for 1 1/2 weeks. She returned for a few days but I wouldn’t have blamed her if she never returned – but it was stressful on top of being tragic.
  • I’m in the middle of a large project and I feel like an island without support – hopefully things are getting better though.

All of that is a total downer. So let me say something happy:

TODAY IS THE BABY’S FIRST BIRTHDAY!

I promise to post about her birthday party (and I just realized I never said anything about her birth story… so maybe I’ll do that too), but I’ll leave you with this:

2014-04-24 18.25.27

Wearing my sunglasses…

That smiling face waiting for me at home made all of the hard days manageable. And I promise to start posting again!

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday Morning Motivation – Diet vs Excerise

 

Good luck to everyone with weight loss resolutions this year!

Baby Weight

Yesterday, I talked about my thoughts when it came to my own weight. Today, I’m going to talk about the baby’s weight.

I knew that when babies were born, they immediately lost a little bit of weight. I didn’t know however that the hospital would only let¬†the baby¬†lose 10% of her body weight and still be discharged. For my little girl, born 7 lbs 14 oz,¬†we were told that equalled 10 ounces. We were also told that she would probably have about 1 BM diaper per day and she actually had 5 BM diapers per day! If there was anything that I could say with certainty about my newborn, it was that her¬†waste removal¬†system seemed to work well.

On the day we were to be discharged, they weighed the baby (honestly, they weighed her every day) – she had lost 11 ounces! Too much!!!! The hospital pediatrician thought that Baby Girl looked fine though, not dehydrated or sick. So on their suggestion,¬†I fed her and they weighed her immediately after – success! She was only down the allowed 10 ounces! The doctor could release her with a clear conscience. To be on the safe side though, she had to see her pediatrician 2 days later – and every 2 days after that for 2 weeks (seriously, we went on a Sunday!) It felt like we were living at the doctor’s office.

6 days old, but she has too few fat rolls!

6 days old, but she has too few fat rolls!

If I remember correctly, babies are supposed to be back to their birth weight within 3 weeks of birth. It took Baby Girl 4 weeks. She always seemed healthy, but was always underweight. Those first few weeks felt like such a struggle to avoid the label “failure to thrive.” And out of complete stubbornness, we were determined that she would be exclusively breastfed. I have no idea why I was so freaking stubborn about it… it was almost like I was determined to get it right! (And I may have had a weird fear of her developing allergies to formula ingredients)¬†Luckily, the doctor was 100% fine with my stubbornness and supported my choice, which was probably why we were there so often. If she could prove that¬†Baby Girl¬†was staying healthy – “breast was best.”

And then one day the doctor said something that I really loved her for: “Some women make skim milk and some women make whole milk.”

5 days old

5 days old

I mentioned to her that I was a vegetarian and it felt as though there was instantly a reason for Baby Girl to be so skinny. I guess I live a low-fat lifestyle and I have a low-fat baby. Suddenly, we could stop visiting the doctor every other day, I just needed to increase my fat intake. Done!

Immediately following that visit, we went to the grocery store. When we checked out, it seriously looked like we were single-handedly supporting the Dairy Farmers of America! I wish I had taken a picture, but our cart was filled with:

  • a gallon of whole milk
  • 2 gallons of ice cream
  • full-fat greek yogurt (which is so hard to find!!! Why is yogurt suddenly a low-fat, no-fat diet food? Thank goodness for the¬†handful of¬†full-fat flavors of Oikos!)
  • practically my weight in cheese
  • 2 avocados
  • and some bread to slather¬†with all the peanut butter I already had at home

The baby just had her 4 month check up and she’s only in the 11th percentile for weight… but at least the doctor seems ok with it.¬†Baby Girl¬†doesn’t have very many fat rolls (which really are cute on a baby) but she has tons of energy and is always wiggling, dancing, rolling over, trying to crawl away, so I’m going to guess she’s not failing to thrive. ūüėČ

2 months old. She wiggles and kicks so much in her sleep that she completely manages to break out of her swaddles...

2 months old. She wiggles and kicks so much in her sleep that she completely manages to break out of her swaddles… (she was velcro’d into that!)

Weight Loss/Weight Gain

I’m back to running and it feels so good! As an added bonus, my wonderful man, T, has been joining me and we’ve been pushing the baby in her stroller. She had to be 4 months old before she had the neck strength for it. We may have jumped the gun a week early, but she has a very strong little neck and the running path was recently paved…so I’m not that worried.

We were training for a 5k this past weekend. It’s actually the first 5k I ever ran and I’m excited for that symmetry!

While there’s a bonus¬†of weight loss,¬†I’m simply running because I want the baby to have a fit mommy. I actually have no idea how much I weight right now.

Before I gave birth, I had been writing a series of “I’m not that woman” posts and I had thought about one for¬†being obsessed with weight. I hope not to be that woman to say “Well… I still have 10 pounds of baby weight to lose.” Especially when someone’s “baby” is a 3rd grader… Girl, that weight it YOURS, own it! So I’m really not all that concerned about weight loss – I gained 38 pounds while pregnant, and¬†when I went in for my 6 week check-up I still had 14 pounds to lose.

Let's go for a jog!

Let’s go for a jog!

One of the best bits of advice I read was “It took you 9 months to gain the weight, don’t be surprised if it takes you 9 months to lose it!” I’m 4 months in, I’m expecting it to take a few more months to lose.

I’ve only had a few struggles with that. The first was when I went back to work. The night before I went back to work was the first time¬†I tried on my (pre pregnancy) work pants. I chose the tightest pair, the loosest pair, and 2 pairs in the middle. I tried on the¬†tightest pants and I couldn’t get them over my thighs. Off they went. I tried on the loosest pants and couldn’t get THEM over my thighs. Tears welled up in my eyes. I started to put on a 3rd pair when T stopped me. It wasn’t worth making myself cry over. I should just wear my maternity pants and be comfortable.

So… I’m still wearing my maternity pants. Apparently my thighs still think we’re carrying a baby. It’s been a month and a half¬†and I should probably try my old pants on again… but I’m not really in the mood to feel bad again, you know what I mean?

And then I saw this poll on BabyCenter.com:

baby center poll

And honestly, it made me feel a little lousy about myself. But then I started to read the comments about how so many of these women didn’t need maternity clothes.¬†They reminded me of a ‘friend’ who came to my baby shower¬†and told me all about her¬†niece who only gained 4 pounds during her recent pregnancy (can you hear me rolling my¬†eyes?!)¬†. Really, if someone only gains 4 pounds for an 8 pound baby, they have LOST weight.

And all of this¬†reinforced to¬†me that people have different body types. My boss, a team-mate, and I all had babies this year (well… the teammate is still pregnant, but not for much longer). Out of the 3 of us, we all have different body types, basically with clothing sizes:¬†my boss is¬†a medium, I’m a small, and my teammate is¬†an extra small.¬†The medium¬†gained the least weight and the extra small gained the most. My boss thinks she gained the least because she already had some fat stores built up for the baby.

So why should I worry about other women fitting into their old clothes? I don’t know what size their old clothes are or how loose or fitted they chose to dress! They are not me, so why I should I worry?

So I’m maintaining my level head (while wearing my comfy maternity pants). And I’m going to run because I love running, not because I need to shrink my thighs.

Ironically, while I’m thinking about my own weight loss, I’ve also had to worry about the baby’s weight gain (she wasn’t gaining enough fast enough), and I’ll tell you all about that interesting adventure tomorrow.

My tracking bib

I was so pumped to get another one of these!

Peeping Tom Cat…?

I only talk about baby stuff lately… how monotonous! So I’m going to tell you a silly story about my cat instead (I’m not sure if that’s much better though…)

This is my little girl cat:

(Pictured here in a cape she made for herself out of a brown paper bag)

(Pictured here in a cape she made for herself out of a brown paper bag)

One of her nicknames is Prissy Pants, but she’s gotten much bolder since we moved. At our rental house, she usually wouldn’t go more than¬†50 feet from the back door. It was really rare to look for her out a window and not be able to see¬†her in the yard.¬†

I recently found out from our new neighbor, Ann, that Prissy Pants has been breaking onto Ann’s 3 season porch through a doggy¬†door. Prissy Pants will prance around Ann’s porch just smelling all of Ann’s furniture and plants –¬†paying no attention¬†to Ann watching her through a glass door. Nor does Prissy Pants seem to care that Ann’s dachshund is barking at her as long as the glass is between them!

Granted, my little girl is still less than 50 feet away from our back door but jeez! (Because our back door faces sideways – right towards Ann’s back porch.)

Luckily, Ann seems to be a cat person and is finding the breaking and entering funny. I told her that Prissy Pants is so friendly that Ann could literally pick her up and throw her out of the house, but I get the impression that Ann would be happier to pick my little¬†criminal up and cuddle her (which would¬†also be totally fine¬†with Prissy Pants!). Thank goodness she’s friendly!

Everyone else in the neighborhood owns a dog. I wonder how many other doggy doors Prissy Pants is planning to break into!

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