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Archive for February, 2014

Baby’s First Race!

Ok, technically, her first race was this 5k. But, I’ve signed her up for her very first solo race! It’s a “diaper derby” at a (not so local) mall.

What’s a diaper derby? you ask.

It’s a crawling race. For this one, there will be 6 babies placed onto the track at a time and they have to crawl their way to a finish line. I have no idea what the distance will be though. I doubt very long. My mom relates it to a frog or turtle race. Who knows who will win, it’s a total crap-shoot; but hilarity will definitely ensue! Also, I heard a rumor (from the race registration woman) that this one is sponsored by Keurig so there will be free cupcakes and coffee for the spectators. 🙂

For this Diaper Derby, only 72 babies can register. Winners of each heat go on to compete in a semi-final round, etc. And the top 3 finishers win a trophy. How cute is that?

There are rules though, all registrants must be under 12 months old and if they stand up on the track, they are disqualified! No walking allowed!

Really, I see there being 3 scenarios that could play out for my kid:

  1. She’s awesome, has her eye on the prize, and crawls like the wind (would it be inappropriate for me to play “Eye of the Tiger” during the race? Hmm… probably. I guess I’ll just hum it to myself.)
  2. She cries as soon as she’s put on the track and refuses to move
  3. She wants to touch all of the other babies… in the face (for some reason she loves touching other babies’ faces – it’s so not appreciated by other moms…)

Can you think of any other scenarios?

I’m pretty sure if I could put one of the cats at the finish line, baby girl would be certain to win! Her top motivation for crawling is to chase the cats!

Prissy Pants hiding in a bag within a box... her dream come true!

Prissy Pants hiding in a bag within a box… pretty sure this is her dream come true!

Really, I signed her up because it sounds like something funny to do. (Also, both a friend and my mom egged me on…) She’s a fast little crawler when she wants to be though, so who knows? Maybe in March I’ll have pictures of our new trophy!

Or maybe I’ll just have pictures of the free cupcakes. That’s ok by me.

I just hope I don’t have pictures of a miserable, crying baby. Well, pictures of MY miserable, crying baby. I’m sure it will happen to someone, I just hope that someone isn’t me.

Crawling towards Prissy Pants. Sorry this is so blurry, it's a screen shot from a silly little (anti-climactic) video.

Crawling towards Prissy Pants. Sorry this is so blurry, it’s a screen shot from a silly little (anti-climactic) video. Also, how cute is that hat!?

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Playground Protocol?

I just took the baby to an indoor play space at the mall and had a really weird experience. I’d love some tips!

The indoor play place is about the size of the Claire’s jewelry store next door to it. I thought about taking pictures, but I feel odd taking pictures of other people’s kids… So picture small, with a carpeted (and padded) floor. It was lined with cushioned benches for the parents to sit. In the center, it had 6 structures that seemed like they were made out of very hard plaster – like crack-your-skull-on hard if you’re a little kid. They seemed dangerous for someone really little. And in between some of the benches were activities – like tic-tac-toe on the wall, a steering wheel, a wall that looked like a piano and made noise, etc.

It wasn’t ideal for Baby Girl but I worry that she spends all of her time with me and my mom (who watches her while I’m at work) and doesn’t meet other kids. So I crawled around with her while she played with the musical wall and enjoyed watching the bigger kids.

While crawling around with her, I noticed a little girl (let’s guess 5 years old), who kept asking every other kid in the area if they wanted to play with her. She kept suggesting hide and seek, which made no sense to me because where would you hide for more than 5 seconds? Behind the mini slide or in the 2 foot tunnel? There weren’t many options! Anyway, all of the kids refused to play with her, and most of them ignored her like she wasn’t even there talking to them. It broke my heart for her. And besides being a little intense, she wasn’t even that weird! It wasn’t like she had boogers on her face or smelled or anything. I felt terrible for her.

And that’s when she zoned in on Baby Girl. Baby Girl had attracted quite a few fans who were all staring at her. They all scattered when Olivia showed up. That’s her name; she actually told me her full name but I tried not to hear past Olivia because that seems creepy to know that about a strange child.

First she wanted to have Baby Girl sit on her lap, and I was fine with that if Baby Girl was. Typically, when strangers (including relatives she hasn’t met yet) want to hold her, she loses it! But she didn’t mind Olivia holding her. I think she was interested in meeting another little kid. Then Olivia played on the piano wall for Baby Girl. Baby Girl paid attention for a few minutes, but then started crawling to me. I looked down to her and said “Do you want to sit in my lap?” I ask her this often.

Olivia chirps up “Can I sit in your lap?”

Uhhh… how should I have responded?

My heart broke for her because clearly she wasn’t fitting in with the kids. Also, my wonderful boyfriend’s mother told me that when he was young, he would sit in the laps of other dads (at church, etc). His birth father left pretty early on but luckily for him, T got a terrific stepdad at the age of 4. But before the stepdad, it seemed like he was always looking for a father figure. Was this little girl doing the same thing?

Also on my mind was something I was told when I started working for the local school system years ago as a contractor. The district had a real problem with teachers being fired for innocently touching (high school) students. We were warned not to even tap a kid on the shoulder. Avoid touching students at all costs because it could cost you your job.

All of these things were running through my head. Pity for the girl, pity for the boy T used to be, and a fear of anyone thinking that something inappropriate was happening.

In the end, I awkwardly avoided the girl getting in my lap by offering to put Baby Girl in hers. In the process, she tried to basically pig-pile on me though.

What do you think I should have done? How should I have handled it?

"I need friends!"

“I need friends!”

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