About two weeks ago, I mentioned that I had a huge opportunity (for me) and I was trying to psych myself into it. I was very vague. Let me explain what happened.
I received an e-mail from a friend looking to hire an adjunct professor at a small, private, liberal arts college. At first I thought it sounded like a possible offer. After reading it about a dozen times, I realized it was an offer for an interview. The e-mail also included the syllabus the previous professor created and the time of the class.
I was daunted and intimidated for two main reasons. The first was the time of the class. Although it would only be a 3 hour per week job, the time of day and the way it was spread out over the week would require me to use a vacation day every week for 15 weeks (so basically all of my remaining vacation time for the year from my full-time job that pays the bills) or change my very structured hours. Hmmm…
The second daunting factor was the material. It was so highbrow and not very fun (read: not my style at all).
But I went in to the interview as prepared as I could be (I read half of the previous syllabus’s assigned homework – not bad for 2 nights of prep – and wrote down as many questions and ideas for making the class more “me” as I could).
Honestly, I’m not sure how the interview went last week. Benefits to me: the hours were still up in the air and could be changed. The syllabus needed a complete overhaul according to my friend/the head of the department. The school itself was lovely and I would have really liked to have worked there. I’m not sure how it went because I was interviewing with a friend… so of course he liked me, but did he like me for the position? I didn’t know.
We were scheduled to have a follow-up today. I may have spent the week creating a first draft of a new syllabus and a few drafts of lesson plans. Additionally, I read two books on information I’m interested in but isn’t really in my wheelhouse but would have been ideal for the class.
Today, instead of us meeting, I got an e-mail that they are hiring an internal candidate. I totally understand, but that doesn’t stop the waves of disappointment. Thinking about the lesson plans really made me want to teach them and I was excited to have students again (I was a high school drama teacher for a brief stint).
I try to stick to positive thinking… so how can I re-frame this experience?
- It has shown me how much I really want this as my career
- It has shown me that I should have more faith in myself – something that seems daunting at first can be learned and mastered
- I’m better at writing a syllabus and lesson plans than I thought
- I have a broader set of topics to teach than I thought I had
- I get all my vacation days back…
I still don’t know how I can convince anyone (with hiring abilities) of a few of these things though.
I’m trying to “pick myself up and dust myself off.” It’s time to revise my self-image and refocus my actions.
Maybe what I can take away from this is that it’s time to be serious and go after what I want!