My wonderful boyfriend and I will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary this month!
So this month, I’m going to post “Ten Tales of T:” ten posts of little memories or pictures to celebrate our love and remember all the fun we’ve had together so far.
I feel like I should start with a little explanation for you, my dear reader. Yes, we’ve been together for 10 years and we’re not married. We actually never plan to get married. He’s on my healthcare (thank you, very liberal employer who allows me to have a “spousal equivalent”), we live together, and we have cats. That’s close enough to married for me. (plus, I always have really complicated taxes – thank you school and multiple jobs – it’s so much easier to file separately) I was never the little girl who fantasized about getting married. It was never a big dream that I’ve had.
We both also have lots of student loan debt and don’t care to add more debt to our lives (our parents wouldn’t be paying for this wedding). Neither of us are religious (neither are our parents – although my father went to 12 years of Catholic school… and hasn’t been back to the church since). And we were both raised by hippies (my parents more so). It’s just not important to us. We understand why it’s valuable to other people, but at the moment, it’s not to us. The only bummer is that we’ve been together for 10 years and I still have to use the word “boyfriend.” It’s not that I want to use the word “husband,” because that’s not it. I just wish I didn’t sound like a 15-year-old girl.
I used the word “partner” for a year or so… but everyone thought I meant a woman (and T is short for a very unique, Celtic name… so no one could easily identify the gender… his name isn’t something easy like Tom). And it’s not that I mind if anyone thinks I’m a lesbian, but then when said new person met him, they were very confused.
On the radio a few months ago, the djs were talking about “cohabitators” (because living together and not getting married is a rising trend apparently, perhaps that’s related to a fact I saw on WeTV that the average wedding costs 30 grand!) and some woman called in and essentially said that straight, cohabitating couples are ruining the sanctity of marriage. That actually really hurt my feelings. How can I ruin something that I don’t even participate in? Personally, I think if she wants to blame people ruining the sanctity of marriage, I think she should start pointing fingers at people who have had 5+ divorces…
So I hope that gives you a little idea about us. I hope you don’t get the wrong idea though. Even though we’re not married, we’re still completely loyal and loving to just one another. We’re essentially married… we just don’t have the title.
The next post will be more positive, I promise. I think I’ll post about how we met.