Reasons to get out of bed…

I Fell Down…

I’m sorry for having been away for so long! Before my long absence, I had been talking about how busy, busy, busy I was. Essentially, I was to spend about 21 days in a row out of my house for about 15 hours per day. I made it for almost all of them. I called out sick on the final one. By the end, I was feeling stressed and tired and sick and malnourished.

Another giant downside to being out of my house for so long is that other things don’t get taken care of: laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, paying bills (unless they are online), prepping for all of these nights out of the house (homework, etc). So I returned to a giant “to do” list – which didn’t help with the stress level.

I have to admit that I failed. I had mentioned that I signed on for another task (directing a musical) and I really thought I would be able to do it. However, I found the musical director to be difficult to work with. I thought he was being bossy and mean; but it was later explained to me that he needed his hand held, like crazy. I found him distracting in my rehearsals and we needed a translator even though we were both speaking English, our communication styles just didn’t seem to mesh. I also didn’t appreciate him yelling at me for things that he forgot to do (I originally volunteered for it, he said he would rather do it, and then I got blamed when it wasn’t done). It wasn’t a pleasant working situation. However, before it sounds like I’m bashing him too much, I feel I should mention that he was great with the kids and the music… it was the details that were a problem.

I feel terrible. I let down the kids. I let down the parents group organizing the show. I hope I didn’t burn too many bridges (as bad news and gossip always travel like wildfire). I have been sleeping better and getting my homework done though…

The straw that broke this camel’s back though was mainly school and my calendar. I was supposed to pick up a form signed by my thesis committee members and drop it off to the registrar. But I forgot, and I missed the deadline. I ended up having to beg the registrar to please, please, please let me register for my thesis so I could graduate on time. My boyfriend had to run around the campus (luckily he works down the street) on his lunch break, pick up the form and drop it off. However, at every step of the way he had to call me and ask me to send an e-mail giving him permission: “yes, student secretary, please give my boyfriend the form on my behalf.” “yes, student secretary, please accept the form from my boyfriend (and not me).” It was absurd. Plus, my loan money had already been turned into a refund check, so my boyfriend is holding the money for my class (as a check), but we couldn’t use any of it (because I had to sign it… and I was 45 minutes outside the city), so I’m charging various parts to different debit accounts and credit cards trying to make it all work (because I had to pay before registering and classes aren’t cheap).

It was STRESSFUL! And I can’t let things like my thesis fall to the wayside because I was focusing on directing a musical “for fun.”

I still feel terrible about it though.

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Comments on: "I Fell Down…" (1)

  1. […] may be feeling a little guilty about quitting… but I need to believe in myself and realize I know what’s best for myself. And it […]

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