This past weekend was an interesting one for me. During two separate moments I was lead to consider my long-standing views of who I am as a person. For one of the moments, I found myself questioning my identity; at the other moment, my views (of a different aspect of my morals/value/identity) were completely reaffirmed; but I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.
Today is about the question.
I have pretty much always considered myself a nerd; an awkward, non-physical nerd.
When I was in the second grade (and actually this occurred up through the 5th grade), I was on a community basketball team. I was explicitly told that I couldn’t be a guard on the team because they dribble up and down most of the court, and when I dribble, I look like a fairy. The coach was legitimately telling the truth: when I would dribble, the hand not touching the ball would mimic the hand with the ball, so I had this two armed flutter going on… oh… and I pranced.
When I bowl (very occasionally), I do this weird little skip and a hop, completely unconsciously, before releasing the ball. It looks a little like I’m dancing.
I won’t join my company softball team because I can’t catch… except with my face.
I always joke that my athletic skills are best explained by me being a drama geek. To me, in high school, drama club is pretty much the farthest away from the sports teams as you can get.
Need more examples of my lack of athletic abilities? Read this.
So that is always how I have viewed myself. On Saturday, my boyfriend (in all seriousness) called me a jock. In the moment he said that, I was prepping a coin jar to put on Dr. Daddy’s reception desk to help raise funds for my 9k run. I was talking about how I didn’t know if I would fit in any running this week. And I was wearing my Wes Welker (Patriot’s) football jersey. I was about to get ready to go to the game, where it would be below freezing temperatures (not a game for a “fair weather fan”). He had a bit of a point. And as a former jock himself, he meant it in a nice way.
It made me think.
Also… I may have made a football reference in a drama class last night… (and was understandably met with complete confusion).
Can I be the antithesis of athletic and a jock at the same time?