I ended up deciding to audition last night, perhaps against my better judgement. Here is what I was thinking: I miss acting (even though I’m not very good at it). I know that it will be something more piled on my plate and I’ll be more stressed out. But I was also thinking about how it’s not really my choice if I’m in the play or not; all I can do is audition, the director has to want me in the play. I was really honest on my audition form that I have time restraints and can’t commit to as much time as everyone else. If the director is still willing to work around that, I’m sure I would have fun in the play.
Plus, being in a play is similar to working out… right?
From a strictly mathematical point (because despite being a lover of the arts, I really have a dominant mathematical/logical side… by day, I’m a database administrator for goodness sakes, my day job is all about the analytics) I have a 50% chance of even being cast. There are six female roles in this play, nine women auditioned last night and three women have appointments to audition today. That’s 12 women for 6 parts, a 50% chance.
However, one of the best parts of auditioning for this community group is the community! Of course we simply had to go out for drinks and appetizers. It was a lot of fun! I really miss these women. However, I didn’t crawl into bed until 12:15 am… and of course I made a poor choice to read at that point… until 12:50 am.
This morning was a STRUGGLE to get out of bed! What motivated me? This mantra: I am a non-functioning human being. I am a non-functioning human being? Am I a non-functioning human being?
Now, my self-esteem is not actually that low (if it were, I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed!). But I do know that I’m motivated by guilt and a little self-abuse.
Needless to say, it worked, and I got out of bed and went to work!
Now tonight’s reason to not sleep is the company’s softball team (with pizza afterwards)! I’m just a fan though, so it doesn’t count as exercise.